I don't listen to Dr. Laura very often. But a few weeks ago I caught a blip of her radio program. The caller wanted to understand why she had obsessive fantasies about other men (she's married.) In her thoughts, those men were perfect for her. Romantic, fun, energetic. Together, they would be dynamic and loving and passionate. She was worried that these fantasies meant that she no longer loved her husband, so she called into the program.
Dr. Laura's response? Escapism. This gal was escaping through her daydreaming. And not facing the issues in life.
I thought that this was a pretty good answer. Because it hit home.
I daydream all the time. And my thoughts are obsessive. Sometimes, I'll plop myself onto the Barcalounger and spend an hour lost in unconsciousness, imagining things that aren't real. But I'll tell you this...when I fall into the daydream mode, my thoughts feel real in the moment.
I don't think about other men. I daydream about a different life, in a different city...where I don't have to work so hard. A life where I have fun on the weekends, because I've got energy to get out of the house. Skiing, horseback riding, rafting, swimming in a lake.
My most recent focus has been on Boise. Voted the Best City for Mountain Biking in America. Great, year-round weather: It snows just a few days a year, averages less than 12" of rain annually, and it doesn't get too humid in the summer. And the best part is that the housing is affordable. One can purchase a lovely, executive home on the river for less than $400k. And that's top of the line, which I don't need or want. (In the Bay Area, condos run about $500,000-$600,000.) But I would love to have a home big enough for us and our 4 cats, a dog (Boston Terrier), one goat and 2 babies. A home that's paid for, so I don't have to worry about working 50 hours a week. Sigh. This is my Heaven on Earth.
The Pressure of living in the Bay Area continues to build and I find that I don't want it in my life anymore. I used to say, "Bring it on!" Now, I'm so fatigued all of the time I just want to run away.
I've discussed this at length with my husband, but we haven't made any headway. So, instead of making concrete changes...I sit here, wondering how many art museums are in Boise? Exactly how long would it take to grow my hair long enough to wear it in a braided pigtail? Which Boise house listed on realtor.com would we possibly buy? (I like this one.) What is it really like to have a White Christmas? Would I miss the California palm trees decked out with little white lights during the holidays? Do they have rodeos? Would I be able to obtain a job with Albertsons?
And how difficult is it really...to milk a goat and make cheese?