Saturday, November 20, 2004

Ten hours later and nothing has changed.

I've been crying all day and on the verge of throwing up. I have no one to talk to, no one who can counsel me through this.

Autistic. autisTic. auTISTIC. auTIstIc. AutistiC. AutiStIc. a.u.s.t.i.c.

I cannot get this out of my head. My heart is broken.

"Enough is Enough!" is a worthy sentiment, though something that we cannot enforce. The poor little guy was born to an unwed mother, ultimately rejected by her and raised by his grandmother, and he will never know who his father is.

I don't care to learn anymore lessons in life. I don't need any more tragedy or heartache. I don't want the good that will come from this. I don't want any of it. I want my little sweet boy to be happy and healthy and normal. I want my sister to catch a break. I want to stop crying from the utter grief of knowing this sweet little guy will be challenged for his entire life.

I would prefer that it be me.