Don't Pat Yourself on the Back Too Hard, OK?

It was a low day.

My mind kept racing in circles.

"I want to change jobs, but I can't shift into a lower paying job and still live in the Bay Area. We'll have to move, but I don't have a new job and I want to go now because I am miserable to my core. But that's unreasonable and irresponsible. I'm being immature and selfish. A better life is only a dream. So - I - must - stay - put."

"I want to change jobs, but I can't shift into a lower paying job and still live in the Bay Area. We'll have to move, but I don't have a new job and I want to go now because I am miserable to my core. But that's unreasonable and irresponsible. I'm being immature and selfish. A better life is only a dream. So - I - must - stay - put."

"I want to change jobs, but I can't shift into a lower paying job and still live in the Bay Area. We'll have to move, but I don't have a new job and I want to go now because I am miserable to my core. But that's unreasonable and irresponsible. I'm being immature and selfish. A better life is only a dream. So - I - must - stay - put."

"I want to change jobs, but I can't shift into a lower paying job and still live in the Bay Area. We'll have to move, but I don't have a new job and I want to go now because I am miserable to my core. But that's unreasonable and irresponsible. I'm being immature and selfish. A better life is only a dream. So - I - must - stay - put."

I'm in agony and feel completely stuck. Every day is like walking through pudding.

I've prayed. I've requested a prayer chain from my family. I'm on meds. I let myself cry when the urge hits me. I'm trying to give to others. And I'm trying to keep moving forward.

But my life's momentum has slowed to a stop, and I keep asking, "Why? Is this all there is? Is this what I have busted my yams for? Where is the Joy? What the hell am I doing?"

I tried to talk to my husband about it. I said something like, "Remember when you did pre-press and you were miserable? You didn't like your peers, you didn't like your boss, you didn't like being bossed around, you didn't like the pressure. Remember what that felt like?"

Yeah, " he replied. "At least I did something about it."

That response sent me into stunned silence.

Stunned Silence.

If I were to follow his lead, I would quit my job, release the 401k benefits, sick time and health coverage, and earn $10 an hour.

Yeah buddy, you're a hero. No, make that a Super Hero.

Because You Did Something About It.