Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Dry Mouth

I am scared spitless.

Fear of the unknown is stabbing my innards incessantly, and I can't help but wonder how people mustered up the courage throughout the 1800's to travel West and homestead in an unknown land.
  • They had to cope with the possibility of an attack by Indians and wild animals. We have to battle 18-wheelers and teenage speed demons on a super highway.
  • They had to cross rivers in wagons and dump their belongings if they weighed too much. Our 18,000 pounds of belongings (we are Big Furniture people) are being packed, transported and unloaded by the mover.
  • They had to go to the bathroom in the bushes - with no toilet paper. We have struggle with hours of driving through the Nevada flat-lands with a mere sprinkling of gas stations, so bio-breaks must be timed perfectly.
  • They had to sleep out in the wild with snow and rain and wind pelting their dust-caked bodies. We have to spend the night in a pet-friendly hotel room that allows 6 mewing cats.
  • They had to hunt and catch game for a hearty meal cooked over a campfire. If we get hungry, we'll nosh on a Power Bar or Met-Rx nourishment.
  • They had very few medicinals to treat their sick children or ill spouse. If we feel fatigued, we'll drink an Emergen C orange pack for a little extra mojo.
Enough comparisons. I'm a total wimp, there are no two ways about it. I gotta get me some Gatoraid and.just.shut.up.