Saturday, August 13, 2005

Blessings to the people who give us "perspective."

I called my sister today to tell her that I was concerned about her husband. He's the one who found Ann on the morning that she passed away. He knew that my mom was intensely fearful that Ann would get "misplaced" during cremation, so he personally attended the procedure to insure that we received Ann's ashes...and not someone else's.

My brother-in-law has also accelerated his business dealings because he realized that he will be supporting my grand-nephew (his grandson) for his entire life because of the recent autism diagnosis. He and my sister (both 50 years old) are already raising the baby because their daughter is a meth-addict.

Bob has always been so amiable and laid-back in that Southern California way. But not any more. He's irritable, caustic and impersonal. His tone is harsh and he doesn't have the time to simply connect with people anymore.

So my conversation with Denise went something like this:

Jill: I just want to let you know that I talked with Bob and expressed my concern that he's working himself too hard. I'm scared that he could collapse from exhaustion like Husband did...I'm truly concerned about his health.

Denise: I know. He's trying to get things under control. He's got too much on his plate, too many projects.

Jill: I'm sorry I can't help you more with selling dad's house and Ann's condo.

Denise: It's OK, it's mostly done. The house in San Bernardino goes on the market this week and I just need to clear all of the furniture out of Ann's place and we'll get that on the market too. It's just alot to do at one time.

Jill: I know, that's why I'm so worried about Bob. He's the one who found Ann and he must still be in shock over that.

Denise: He's doing OK. It's going to get better soon once we sell the house and condo. Bob got a call from his former business partner - do you remember Toby?

Jill: Yeah.

Denise: He died yesterday from pancreatic cancer.

Jill: OMG. Didn't Toby's pregnant wife pass away last year?

Denise: Yup. So when you think you have it bad, always remember that it could be worse.

Jill: Geez, this world is too much sometimes.

So here I sit, pondering the Fairness Issue once again. A worldly rule that I want enforced. Just think about how things would be different:
  • Children would never have cancer.
  • Teachers would be rewarded with annual bonuses, expense accounts and stock options.
  • Child molesters would live shorter lives.
  • Parents would never outlive their kids.
  • Narcissism would be fattening.
  • Arrogance would result in the growth of a very large, unsightly goiter.
  • Cruelty to animals would be punishable by the same treatment dealt to the animal.
Fairness doesn't exist, pure and simple. At least, not as I understand it. And my sister is correct - as difficult as this year has been, we are still blessed to be here and have one another.