Sunday, December 04, 2005

Husband and I were enjoying our coffee in the family room this morning, as we gazed out at the bright, blanket of snow.

Husband: This is the happiest I've ever been in my life.
Jill: Me too, sweet boy. Me too.

Happiness has been allusive to us both for most of our lives. Husband apparently suffered from chronic depression since high school, and he felt like a new person less than 2 hours after he took his first Lexipro.

I was too busy hiding out during my childhood to even think about being happy. Mom used to chase me through the house, screaming at me and smacking me on the legs. I learned very early that it was best to be invisible. I spent a lot of time singing to myself in my closet, dreaming about how my life would be different when I grew-up.

Fast forward to now and I still have to pinch myself because I still can't believe we got Here. I know that the newness will wear off eventually, but for now I'm savoring my moment. Fire in the fireplace, Christmas Jazz playing in the background, snow outside, and Christmas lights inside.

I'm Home. And I'm grateful...for as long as it lasts.