Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The In-Laws, cont.

We offered to take their kids through the summer to give them a chance to find a new town, get settled, get employed and iron out their chronic problems.

Instead, they asked us to take their 18 year old who has been dating a 33 year old who got her hooked on dope despite her recent diagnosis of schitzophrenia.

Are you freakin' kidding me?

They don't want her to be traumatized by the move to Oklahoma. So they want her to move to Denver to live with us instead.

This would be less traumatic for...who?

Husband and I are discussing the request. I love that girl...she was in our wedding and we have always been close. She's bright and sweet and outgoing...on a good day. It's the bad days that I am worried about. Her ability to stay on her meds, the moodiness, the episodes of baby-talk and gibberish and erratic incidents.

Of course we will end up bringing her into our home for who knows how long. But damn, I am going to have make several phone calls first to fully understand what we will be dealing with.

I realize that this is no time for me to be scared - of her illness, of the impact of having her in our home, of the unknown costs...both emotional and financial. I know that this move will probably save her life. She has no business living with a 33 year old unemployed redneck.

I believe her parents let her down, didn't support her enough throughout her childhood, were too concerned about their drugs and parties and drinking. I believe they should have been more involved in her life at the age of 17 when she began dating this guy. They should have told her, "No," and explained all of the reasons why.

Except, sadly, he's her dad's best friend.

Which makes this all very Woody Allen.

Seriously, who in their right mind would let their 33 year old best friend date their 17 year old daughter? Not me.

Jill to Husband: I've thought about this all day. There would have to be Rules.
1. No drugs.
2. No drinking.
3. No lying.
4. No all-nighters.
The alarm goes on as usual and there will be no sneaking out. It's a deal-breaker.

Husband: Yup. Lockdown.

Jill: I'm not sure I'm up for this. I was prepared for a 14 year old and a 4 year old. Those two, I can handle. This, this is something entirely different. Huge consequences. Huge concerns. There's so much I don't know. A responsibility that I'm willing to take because I love that child, but damn, it feels as though we are cleaning up their mess again. Forcing her to leave her boyfriend could send her into a severe episode.

Husband: We really need to be sure about this before it happens.

Jill: They're moving on Friday. How are we supposed to figure this one out so quickly? Hmmm?