Is it a bad thing to pray for something, anything, to happen so that you can keep someone else's kids?
I am weary from all of the stories: The 3 day cocaine binge that resulted in small appliances being thrown at the kids with several direct hits. The complete neglect of the baby - allowing her to run around the house and outside all day long because her parents were sleeping through their addictions. The former-neighbor who took the baby in 4 nights a week because there was no one to care for her. The drinking and driving with the kids in the car. The oldest daughter who slept with 43 boys in high school. Yes, that is an accurate number. 43 boys and they did nothing to confront or stop her.
I am sick, sick, sick over this. And I'm stuck in a corner because no one else in this family is outraged, and no one is willing to do anything to protect these kids.
So unless I want to start a war with my husband's family, all I can do is pray for something terrible to happen to the parents so that we can raise these incredible kids and give them a fighting chance for a stable, non-violent life.
I know, I know. God isn't going to listen to a prayer that asks for harm to another person. And this is very out of character for me. But what the hell else can I do for these kids? I've talked to another sister in law about this, and incredibly enough, she was aware of the drug binges, the violence, the neglect. And she won't do anything to get involved. Neither will her husband or the kids' grandparents.
Honestly, I am furious. I rage inside at night in bed when I think about what these kids are subjected to by their selfish, self-serving parents. And I can't stand it. I pray that they get locked in jail. I fantasize about them being pulled-over on the highway and carted off because he doesn't even have a valid driver's license (it was suspended). I dream about suing them for guardianship.
But the reality is that my husband's family would declare war on me. And that would put my marriage at risk.
I am powerless in so many ways and it's eating me up inside.
I already know what Dr. Laura would say. I've talked to my family and they all agree that I should take this on and save those kids.
Great. Jill taking on the world again in the name of What's Right. This is the worthiest of causes, but damn, there is no support. There is no way to win without that support from the rest of the family. They would refuse to testify, refuse to participate, and then turn on me for causing a ruckus.
Damn. Damn. Damn.