Tuesday, March 31, 2009

After four long years, this is my last week of being unemployed.

I wanted to get lost in suburbia. I lost my ambition and desire to be out in the world. I mourned my sister and mom while taking care of dad through heart attack(s), strokes, rehab and Coumadin. Then I mourned my father while I took care of my new baby's oxygen, rehab and chronic lung disease. We dealt with so many illnesses, his folder at the doctor's office became thicker than a phone book. Then suddenly, my son was ready for pre-school, and I found myself home alone three days a week. Catching up on old business, reconnecting with old friends and starting to care about being healthy and looking good again.

I reached a Tipping Point where it became imperative that I go back to work. My brain was ready to be jump-started and my ambition slowly reignited inside my belly.

I have learned so much over these four years. My demeanor has shifted radically, I am caught-up on sleep (Thank You Ambien!), my son is healthy and doing great, and I no longer suffer over what my husband is doing or not doing (career-wise).

I absolutely adore my family, our home life, the house and our home town. I feel balanced and recharged and ready to take on new challenges. I have finally, finally been able to identify some new life's goals. Two years ago, I came up empty in trying to create a list. I felt lost and senseless at the time, but things are so much different now.

If anyone would have ever told me that I would be back in a place of happiness and contentment, I would have burst out laughing facetiously.

But here I am. Surprisingly, in one piece and impatient to start Moving Forward.

Damn, it's been a hard and intense journey. It feels nice to see sunshine again.