Thursday, December 16, 2004

Another Snapshot.

Dad had intense chest pain last night and called 911. He's been in the hospital undergoing a battery of tests, including an angiogram that is scheduled for tomorrow morning. When I drove over to the emergency room last night, I completely broke down sobbing. I've tried to take my husband's insight to heart and not wallow in self-pity. However, the sadness was unbearable. I don't want time to march on, I don't want my dad to die. I want time to stand still....right now....and just hover in place with the status quo. I have this deep fear that one reaches a stage in life where circumstances shift and it's suddenly all about losing the things that are important and near and dear to our hearts. I don't want a downward slide. I don't want to lose anyone in my life, especially my family. This is the happiest and closest we have ever been. It's not perfect by any measure, but it's good and I want it to hold steady.

The results of my x-rays are in and I did not suffer a compression fracture from the accident. That's the good news. The bad news is that they discovered I have "arthritis of the neck." I'm going to have to Google that one, it's completely foreign to me.

My husband's parents sent us a case of buffalo meat. Steaks, burgers, stew. It seems appropriate to me that buffalo stew rhymes with...eeeewwww.