The Three Quadrants.

There's only one word that adequately describes it...and that word is Rot.

I'm talking about my stomach just below my rib cage and how it feels when I press down on it. If I eat anything even slightly spicy, I have atomic bombs going off throughout my chest cavity and up into my throat...despite the fact that I take Protonix twice a day. Oh, and when I take it at night? The back of my throat fizzes like an alka seltzer and I have to keep my mouth shut so the sound doesn't keep my husband awake.

Then there is my mid-section intestine that is achy and crampy all the time. That area is so sensitive I can't allow a cat to sit on my belly anymore.

And below that, I've got my reproductive system that is raging inside of me. The cramps are so bad they feel as though someone is shredding me with a garden claw. Advil and Alleve are out of the question because it feels as though my stomach has been splashed with acid after taking either one. And that really hurts the Rot in a blistering kind of way.

Sometimes I daydream of just having everything cut out of me. Slice me open and turn me upside down. Let all of the bad stuff fall out.

I could be fed intravenously...I could also get a colostomy. And Lord knows that my womanly plumbing is doing nothing for me other than causing me excrutiating pain. (Don't even get me started on the fact that it refuses to do the one thing it's supposed to do and get pregnant.)

Yup, the way I figure it is that my life would be close to perfect without those three quadrants.

But seriously now. I am sick and tired of the pain. All of it.

Friday is the Big Day, but now I am completely freaked out because my Dad told me that he felt his colonoscopy and it was the most awful pain. I had told him that I was going to be put in a state of conscious sedation, and he confirmed that was what his doctor did to him. Now I'm worried that I'll be able to feel the procedure. And what about the Upper GI? If I even think about something going down my throat I'll throw up. Tongue depressors? Throw up. Inhale a bug? Throw up. Brush the back of my throat with my toothbrush? Throw up. Hmmm. Can a person insist on being totally put under?

Oy vey. Now my head hurts and my heart is stricken with fear. Two more quadrants giving me problems, but I can't afford to get rid of those too. Food no longer brings me comfort, nor does sleeping. Thank goodness for hot baths.