Friday, March 10, 2006

I'm stuck in that halfway position of feeling better but still sluggish from the sickness. I finally want to go out of the house and run around town...but I don't have the energy. I'm foggy and achy and oh so tired.

This was perhaps my worst sickness ever. I had a high temperature (over 101 degrees) for 5+ days - even after taking the antibiotics. The drugs knocked me out for 3 full days - when I only got up for 30 minutes at a time to drink or go to the bathroom. The dry hacking cough finally went away today. My guts are sore and bruised and jumbled.

I frequently thought of the poor souls who live with chronic pain. I was miserable to be around - frequently sobbing that I just wanted to slip away and melt into the ground. "Dust to Dust" felt soothing to me, a release. Husband did the best that he could - although he's really not a nurturer at heart. He did all of the chores and kept the house humming along...which included feeding my Dad. But occasionally I wanted my forehead to be stroked, to have the cramps rubbed out of my calves. I think he was trying to avoid getting the sickness himself - he wouldn't even kiss me when I cried and begged him to do anything, anything to make me feel better.

I've been lucky throughout my life. Never had chicken pox, no measles, no broken bones as a kid. I did have mono, but that was easily solved with pennincilin crushed into a spoonful of grape jelly. BTW, to this day I don't eat grape jelly. And what was with those shots they used to give us in the butt muscle? They don't do that anymore, do they? Did they ever really need to? That, I remember, was excrutiating. Certainly not worth the lollipop wrapped in the square cellophane and balloon.

I'm so tired of being sick - it's going on close to a month. Damn, but I want to feel human again and have more energy and feel...alive. Thriving. Zesty. And effervescent.

I miss those good 'ol days.

Oh, on a bright note....there is green grass popping up all over the place and the trees have young buds at the tips of their branches. Birds are flying about everywhere and chirping again in the morning. Yeehaw! Spring is here!