Thursday, May 11, 2006



The baby shower was for a couple that just adopted a darling, little girl from China.

At only 14 months old, she's a happy little soul. She wore tights that were too big for her legs and ankles...so they pooled into big folds of pink down at her shoes. She also wore a pink and white polka-dotted dress with a little, white sweater. Her hair was bunched up into a ponytail on the top of her head...and it looked like a cascading waterfall of shiny, black silk.

I didn't allow myself to pick her up or hold her - I've been battling another fierce headcold for the last several days. But that didn't stop my entire torso from aching to cradle her in my arms and kiss her little forehead.

This child is loved supremely. And it grinds my heart to think of our cultural dogma that adoptive parents are somehow Less.

The adoption agency provides training to adoptive parents to deal with the child's questions about their biological parents...and they encourage the parents to assist the child in finding them. That's fine. But why do the bio-parents own the Holy Grail in everyone's eyes? Why do people assume that a bio-parent's love is deeper, truer...and more valuable? Even when they take no part in raising that child?

As I sat and watched this little girl cling to her new mom, I knew in my heart that she was with her true mother. The one who would always be there to protect, encourage and love her.