Sunday, March 06, 2005

Blame it on the DNA.

A momentary glimpse into Jill's life last Sunday afternoon.


Jill: Hi Dad.

Dad: Hello, baby. What brings you here?

Jill: I'm sitting with mom today, making sure she eats. How're you?

Dad: I'm OK. Hey, since you're here, can you fix my printer?

Jill: I can look at it. OK, your printing queue is a mile long and it's not printing. Did you try turning it off and on?

Dad: Nope.

Click click.

Jill: Ok, let me cancel all of the jobs in the queue and it should work fine.

After about 15 minutes, the printer starts working.

Dad: Thanks, Baby. I don't know what happened. I was printing from my email last night and I tried to cancel it after 16 pages but then it....

Cough. Cough. Hack. Cough.

Dad: Excuse me. I've got something caught in my sphincter...

Jill's head snaps up and starts spinning at the base of her neck.

Jill: Dad. That is not a normal word. Normal people do not use that word. You keep saying that word in public and it embarrasses me.

Dad: What?! Sphincter?

Jill: YES.

Dad puckers his lips.

Dad: Do you know what this is?

Jill: Your LIPS?!

Dad grins.

Dad: No, it's a sphincter. Most people don't know that you have more than one. Guess how many you have?

Jill: Ewwww!

Jill marches toward the door.

Jill: If you insist on saying the word Sphincter, I'm not staying. It's rude. It bugs me. Normal people don't say it all of the time. I've told you this a hundred times! YOU'RE NOT NORMAL.

Jill swings the door open quickly, only to find 10 people sitting in the activity room adjacent to Dad's apartment...facing her. They are all staring with huge eyes. A pastor, who is standing at the pulpit next to Dad's front door has paused and gives Jill the once over. Church service started 5 minutes earlier.

Jill steps back into the room and closes the door quickly. She can feel her heart beating in her eyeballs. She sits down next to her father on the couch and shakes her head while unleashing an agonized grunt.

Two people, father and daughter. So very much at odds, very similar.