I spent a significant amount of time explaining the cause and effect of portraying oneself sexually when one is only 15 years old. I also asked why she indicated that she was 18 years old and loves alcohol.
Jill: Sweetness, I hate to see you reduce yourself to that. There is so much more to you. And at 15 years old, you have no business having this kind of information on your site.
Older Girl: Why? I liked it. I think it's hott.
Jill: I understand that. And at your age, you're buzzing around, doing your own thing. But very soon, you're going to realize the importance of how people "peg you" and the impact that it will have on your life. No one, and I mean no one, reaches any measure of success all by themselves. It takes the wisdom and knowledge and help of other people to grow and realize the opportunities that are placed before us. So it genuinely matters what impact you have on others. And this sort of thing completely reduces you to nothing more than something sexual.
Older Girl: I don't care what other people think. They are not going to change who I am. I am not going to bend to be something that they want me to be.
Jill: Listen. It will always be important to be true to who you are. But, you also need to understand what impact you have on other people, because they will have an impact on your life...for better or for worse.
Older Girl: But I should be able to do whatever I want on this website. It's called my space....My Space. Not yours or anyone else's.
Jill: Sigh. Okay. Let's get down to the bottom line. It's completely inappropriate and unacceptable for you to have a porn poem on your site. You're 15 years old. I understand that you've been raised with a different set of morals and encouragement by your parents...
Older Girl: Mom took me to Fredericks of Hollywood at Christmas and bought me an Angel Outfit. It was a sheer little teddy with a garter and stockings and a little halo made out of a feather boa.
Older Girl: Because I'd lost my virginity and she thought it would be a really cool Christmas present for my boyfriend. But he stood me up that night. So mom let me go to a party in the outfit instead. A drinking party.
Jill: Sweetheart. I don't agree with any of that and it would never, ever happen here with me. You are a beautiful, wonderful kid with a good heart. You're smart and funny and you will be able to make an incredible life for yourself...if you make the right choices. And it starts right now. Here's the bottom line: Delete the poem, change your age to 15 and delete the alcohol blurb. Or you lose your cell phone and all internet access. Period.
Older Girl: Okay.
I got the Silent Treatment for about 5 hours...and then she came up to me and planted a huge hug and kiss on me. Older Girl and I have a long way to go. I don't know what the future holds for her in terms of where she is going to live going forward. But, she has finally agreed to talk to a lawyer to discuss the options.
This is a huge step, and I have to be careful to not become too attached to any potential outcome. I don't want to see her go back into that environment, and I will worry about her incessantly if it happens. I'm already sick to my stomach over the fate of the 4 year old.
Dammit. Ignorance was bliss...for us. And pure hell for these poor kids.